My Mom Was Married To Barack Obama

My mom confessed yesterday she’d been married to Barack Obama — in a dream.

Mom’s been under stress lately.  She and Dad are selling their house in Lincolnshire, Illinois.  They keep it clean, evacuate for open houses and showings, and eagerly anticipate feedback from realtors.  Though no one’s come back for a second showing yet, their agent has prepared them for a long selling process in this volatile housing market. While the showings go on, Mom and Dad attend open houses of their own, narrowing their search for the perfect, downsized option.

We’ve had a lot of beautiful memories in that house.

Mom and Dad's Wedding Anniversary Celebration

Mom’s life is filled with anxiety right now.  She and Dad have moved six times in their marriage, but this is the first time a house of theirs hasn’t sold within the first thirty days.  Who will buy it — and for how much? When will it happen? Where will they live?  Will they survive the monumental process of packing, moving and unpacking?

Then, Mom had a dream she’d moved back to one of our former houses with her husband, Barack Obama*.  A nice little raised ranch in Hoffman Estates, Illinois on Nottingham Lane.  Good schools.  Strip malls.  Decent folks.

The two blocks south of the house were wiped out out due to a hurricane.  Mom maintained a glass-half-full perspective in her dreamlike state, thinking, “at least I have a nice view of the duck pond you girls used to play at.”

Mom admits she felt sheepish that she couldn’t recall when she and the President of the United States originally hooked up or any details about their nuptials.

What troubled her most of all, though, was her sudden awareness that the house she’d once been so familiar with had an entire wing she’d never known about.  In her dream, she searched endlessly for the key to the door leading to the mysterious section she’d — shockingly — only recently noticed.

Oh, if only I could have asked Mom a few questions before her dream had taken place, like:

1. Barack’s birthday is Aug 4 and yours if Aug 5.  Do you plan on celebrating together or separately?

Mom and Barack are both Leos. Now I get it.

2. More importantly, what’s it like being married to someone fifteen years your junior?

3. How does Dad feel about all this?

4. Does this make me a First Daughter?

5.  May I call Barack “Papa”?

6. How the hell didn’t you notice the separate wing on the house?

7. Does it bother you that you lose your keys in your dreams as well as in real life?

Jack Johnson sings a great song about Losing Keys:

8. Can Barack pull any strings about Sears’ recent announcement they’re moving their headquarters from Hoffman Estates?  If he hesitates, maybe you can make him a nice meatloaf or pick up something special for him from his favorite restaurant, Italian Fiesta Pizzeria in Hyde Park…

Unfortunately, these questions will all remain unanswered…

*My apologies to Michelle, Malika and Sasha.


10 responses to “My Mom Was Married To Barack Obama

  1. So funny! I’m sure your mom smiled when she woke up. I dream about the missing wing in my house too – I always make grand plans for the extra room and wonder why on earth I didn’t make a writing office out of it years ago 🙂 When I wake up, I am soooooo disappointed!
    I wish your mom and dad lots of luck!

  2. Too Funny! I once dreamed that Ira Glass from NPR wanted to ask me out. I told him I was already married. Don’t even know what he looks like. I’ve only heard his voice.

  3. Nottingham Lane: too funny! You can’t go home again. Besides, I hear the neighborhood isn’t how we remember it. Everything now seems so much smaller than it did, except for the trees.

  4. Hi Chrissie,
    Another wonderful story. You are a masterful tale teller. I do confess to being surprised though…I just talked to your Mom and she didn’t mention her relationship with our president.
    With love,

    • Thanks, Joan. Mom actually tells the story far better than I do. I just reported it the best I could. She cracks me up. I just pulled out Mike’s book, Deadlines to Diapers. I can’t wait to dig into it for the 4th time. Love that book! Please say hi to him for me.

  5. If I had to be responsible (like losing keys; explaining why married to the president) for the events in some of my dreams, I’d have to realize I’m living in an alternative universe. Cute story…well told!

  6. Pingback: Baby Boomers U. S. (The Blog) » Blog Archive » Baby Boomers Blog Carnival Ninety-second Edition

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